Mangga talaga itong si Fermi Chaka!

KAPALISTIC talaga ang mukha nitong chabokanic (mukhang katu! Hahahahahahahahaha!) na si Fermi Chaka.

Imagine, naging mabuti naman sa kanya si Rosanna Roces at kapag may konting intriga sa buhay nu’ng tao, lagi na’y priority ang kanyang ratingless na Police Chorva.

Sooo kapal!

Over sa kapallllll!

But look at how she’s lambasting her ignominiously in her cheaply written columns simply because the quondam bold queen is no longer moneyed and no longer popular just like before.

Tindi talaga ng mukhang rabbit na gurangski na ‘to na walang ibang sinasamba kundi ang mga taong nahihiga sa pera like Papa Wil and Major Jude before.

Yuck!Yuck!Yuck!

And to think that Rosanna happens to be one of her inaanak sa kasal, huh!

Demonya talaga ang matandang ito na pinakinabangan naman ‘yung tao when she was still filmdom’s TF queen pero kung balahurain ngayon sa kanyang cheaply written columns ay ganun na lang.

Cheap na gurangski!

Walang urbanidad!

Yuck!

No wonder, your ignominious doings are fast reflected on your jowly face.

Jowly face raw, o! Hahahahahahahahaha!

How so abhorrent. Hakhakhakhakhak!

In the first place, is that a face? Harharharhaharhar!

Parang it’s schemingly demonic, (schemngly demonic daw, o! Harharharhar!) I can’t stomach looking at it even for a few fleeting seconds.

Yuck!Yuck!Yuck!

Imagine, sa halip na protektahan, siya pa itong nagsusulat sa mga cheap na room for rent na lang daw nakatira ‘yung kanyang inaanak.

Makatarungan ba ‘yan?

Hay, naku! Hindi porke’t up ka ngayon when it comes to your finances, you would already belittle other people who are not half as liquid as you are, gurangski!

Yosi-kadiring chakitang gurang, ang sama-sama ng pag-uugali mo samantalang way back during the mid and late 90′s when Rosanna was peaking as a bombshell, pinapunta mo siya sa isang lugar sa Kabisayaan with no preparations at all when all the while, you knew it was meant to be her solo concert she would be attending. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Naloka talaga si Rosanna dahil dito pero kebs ba ng mukhang tipaklong na gurangski na ‘to. Mukhang tipaklong na gurangski raw talaga, o! Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

Ang mahalaga, getlag galore na niya ang kanyang komi (getlag galore na raw ang komi, o! Harharharhar!) at’yun ang mahalaga sa chabokanic na mangkuku. Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Yuck!

Totoo ka, money-oriented ang busalsal ang ilong na matandang to-its na ang laki-laki ng tiyanetch ever. Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

Ayokooooooh! Hahahahahahahahahaha!

NASA PUSO NI KRIS A., ANG PAGMAMAHAL SA PRESS!

BONGGA ang presscon ng My Little Bossings dahil apart from the fabulous give-aways (na labis na ikinatuwa siyempre ng press people), namigay ng maagang Pamasko ang Queen of All Media na si Kris Aquino.

Sa halip nga namang magpa-raffle na iilan-ilan lang ang maaambunan at liligaya, she deemed it right to have her Christmas presents be divided equally among the reporters in attendance and for us, that was a most humane doing.

Anyway, tinanong ng working press si Krizzy baby kung bakit pumayag siyang sina Bimby (James Aquino Yap), Ryzza Mae Dizon (Ching in the movie) at Bossing Vic Sotto lang ang nakalagay sa poster ng kanilang movie. Ms. Kris candidly admitted that My Little Bossings happens to the triumvirate’s movie, it’s but fitting and apt that they should be properly highlighted.

Anim na scenes lang daw naman kasi ang kanya in the movie at pina-edit out pa niya ‘yung isa dahil ramdam niyang it was not needed and not that important.

How so very sweet!

Anyway, for the first time ay hindi naman fantasy ang Metro-Manila Film Festival offering ng M-Zet at bago ang kanilang director in the person of Marlon Rivera of the critically acclaimed indie movie Ang Babae sa Septic Tank, who was personally handpicked for the project by Ms. Kris with the approval of Bossing Vic but of course, kasama rin sa wacky and zany festival movie nina Bossing si Aiza Seguerra at iba pang talented actors.

OUR KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR!

MARAMI ring mababait na tao sa ABS-CBN pero personal fave namin, apart from Kuya Boy Abunda who’s compassion personified and really caring as well, ng aking best chum na si Peter Ledesma, si Mr. Roxy Liquigan for his boundless good-naturedness, awesome humility and caring ways.

For someone so well-connected, dapat ay kind of detached na siya at medyo paimportante. But Mr. Roxy has always been the paradigm of graciousness and good PR from way, way back.

Wala siyang ere at taong-taong kausap, you won’t get intimidated at all.

Walang-wala sa kanya ang erratic airs ni Bubonika, the rat-faced matrona, along with her devious ways.

Yuck!Yuck!Yuck!

Kaya naman bawat project niya sa Star Cinema ay talaga namang pinagpapala at ang soap opera na hawak niya tulad ng Be Careful with my Heart at Got to Believe ay talaga namang hataw sa taas ng rating.

Ang bait-bait kasi at hindi demonyo kaya super good karma.

Dapat lang!

GUSTO’Y SILA ANG MAGKATULUYAN!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! How so very amusing naman na karamihan sa followers nina Dennis Trillo at Tom Rodriguez, mapabeki man o hindi, (would you believe? Hahahahahahaha!) ay nagpapantasya na sila na raw ang magkatuluyan ever. Harharharhar!

Pati pala ang parents ng gwaping na young actor ay feel ding ma-meet si Dennis dahil aliw na aliw sila sa beki story ng dalawang My Husband’s Lover. Hahahahahahahaha!

Is that really soooooo?

Kaaliw naman ever.

Pero, come to think of it, why ever not?

Why ever not daw. o! Hahahahahahahahaha!

Joke!

Come to think of it, ngayon lang nagkaroon ng ganitong klaseng tandem na unique at talaga namang nakaaaliw. Hahahahahahahaha!

Unique at nakaaaliw raw, o! Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

‘Yun na!

Anyhow, dapat talagang magkaroon ng sequel ang kanilang blockbuster na beki seryeng My Husband’s Lover dahil ‘yun ang dine-demand ng mga tao.

Dine-demand daw ng mga tao, o! Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Corrected by! Hahahahahahahahaha!

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang Kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity. Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

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Mangga talaga itong si Fermi Chaka!